A Mind in Overdrive, a Heart Seeking Connection
As an introvert who extroverts when needed, I value quiet. But lately, my world has been punctuated by people who seem—let’s put it politely—profoundly resistant to listening. Imagine someone vocalizing every unfiltered thought their brain produces. As an introvert, I find this exhausting within minutes. Yet beneath the noise, I sense a deep need—not just to be heard, but to be received and accepted.
When this pattern surfaced multiple times in a short span, I took it as an assignment—to share with you my readers…a community of facilitative leaders…this first article in the series, what it really means to listen, beyond words.
When Words Overflow: The Noise of the Mind, the Need to Be Heard
We’ve all done it. I know I have. Speaking quickly, excitedly—and then suddenly realizing I wasn’t really there. My mouth moved, but my awareness lagged behind, disconnected from my body, my breath, and the people in front of me.
Why do we do this? Here’s what I’ve come to understand.
Overvalued Thoughts
Like many, I grew up believing that thoughts—especially intelligent ones—were paramount. But what I wasn’t taught was how my mind actually works. After decades of studying both theory and my own patterns, here’s what I’ve realized:
- My mind generates thousands of thoughts per day—mostly recycled from yesterday.
- Most of them are just noise—background chatter, habitual narratives, internal debates.
- Thoughts are not reality; they are representations—symbols of things, not the things themselves.
- Many thoughts aren’t even mine—they’re conditioned responses, cultural programming, or echoes of past experiences.
With this in mind, I’ve stopped overvaluing thoughts—mine or others’. Instead of feeling compelled to voice every idea, I now pause, filter, and discern. The result? When I practice what I preach, I speak less but with more meaning.
Source of Thought: Discursive vs. Inspired Thinking
Most thoughts are the result of discursive, divergent mentation—one idea triggering another, splitting off in infinite directions, like a tangled web. When we vocalize this, we become the very noise we find overwhelming in others.
But there’s another kind of thought. Occasionally, something different bubbles up—an insight that feels fresh, deeper, even alive. These thoughts don’t originate in mental noise; they arise when our mind is quiet, when we are still inside.
I’ve learned to notice this distinction: Am I regurgitating habitual noise, or am I speaking from a place of presence?
Embodied Speaking: Aligning Voice, Body, and Presence
I know this article is about listening and receptivity. But I believe that starts with being a good listener to ourselves. When I can listen so that I’m receptive to myself, I tend to be more receptive to others. And this receptivity shows up in my speech.
The moment I slow down, take a breath, and actually listen to myself as I speak, something profound happens.
This is the power of embodied speaking. It’s about allowing your body and mind to align with your voice, ensuring that what you say is not just noise, but a fully lived experience.
- My words become more coherent, cogent, and impactful.
- My voice carries depth and resonance.
- My message is clearer.
- I sense how I’m being received—whether my words are landing or creating barriers (More on this level of listening later in the series).
This is embodied speaking—where mind, body, and voice align. It’s the opposite of mindless chatter. It’s a fully lived experience.
How to Cultivate Embodied Speaking
If you want to shift from mindless chatter to embodied communication, here are some practices to experiment with:
1. Pause Before Speaking
Instead of rushing to respond, take a breath. Feel your body. Ask: What is the essence of what I want to say? Then, risk speaking from that place—without needing to control or pre-plan every word.
2. Listen to Your Own Voice
Then listen to yourself speak. Really hear yourself. Feel your words as they leave your mouth. Pay attention to your tone, rhythm, and emphasis while staying aware of your intention. This will help keep your attention in physical reality rather than getting lost in your head.
3. Feel Your Body as You Speak
Your body is always in the present moment, your mind, not so much. As you speak, stay aware of physical sensations. Feel your feet on the ground. Keep breathing steadily, preferably from your belly. Don’t rush. Let your words land. If you can “feel” them, others will receive them.
4. Speak From the Inside Out
Instead of shaping your words for external approval, let them rise naturally from within. Speak what feels true—not what sounds impressive. If fear arises, feel it, breathe with it—but don’t retreat into thinking (More on this later too).
5. Notice When You’re “Not There”
Throughout the day, catch yourself in moments of unconscious speaking. Are you just filling space? Are you disconnected from your own words? Awareness is the first step toward Listening Beyond Words. For another tool for listening to yourself, check out my past article on the. For a practical tool, check out my past article on theVoice Mirror Technique—a simple way to sharpen self-awareness in speech.
Conclusion: The Gift of Your Own Presence
Most of us have practiced the art of speaking, but few have mastered the art of listening—to ourselves.
Yet this simple shift—this act of being fully present in our own voice—has the power to transform not just how we communicate, but how we exist in the world.
Imagine a world where every conversation was rooted in true presence—where words weren’t just spoken, but lived.
It starts with a commitment: to be here, now, in your own voice.
So, next time you open your mouth to speak, ask yourself:
Am I listening?
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