After an extended, six-month retreat last year, my inner scale tipped. The scale I refer to is the one that tetter totters between the true essence of pure awareness and my personal self.
I recognize that any sense of a separate self, the one with problems, issues, goals and dreams has to be constructed and maintained by the energy of attention. The well laid thought patters, like tracks in the desert, are still there with trains ready to go. And they only become real when I attach the engine of my attention to them.
For example, my life long “problem” of not being heard by the world only shows up now when I fuel that thought train with my attention. With attention upon them, the trains of hopes, dreams, desires, and judgements arise, link up, and give rise to feelings which make them appear even more real. This seeming reality then calls for yet more attention and for strategies to help them arrive at the non-existent station. I can get worked up, passionate, excited, depressed…exhasuted. In just a few moments, I can beleive that I am this convuluted complex of thought and feeling. Or, in an instant, I can release all this and recover my true identity as the witness of this drama…and it all collapses. I think I’ll stay home today.
Steve – Really enjoyed your post today. Is it not amazing how much influence and control simple thought can have on our lives and wellbeing. I recently came across a writer named Byron Katie – who I think offers an interesting approach to challenging our “thoughts”. She has written several books, and of course has an amazing personal story as well. I recently read one titled Loving what is. It may be worth checking out.
Please keep up the good work. I am an avid reader of all of your work and have used it on a number of occasions when working with facilitators.
Thanks for all you are doing … Jeff
Interesting, I`ll quote it on my site later.
Dolly
Hi Steve, echo Jeff’s comments. The manmade world around us all originated as a thought – so you bet there’s power and energy in all that stuff rattling around between our ears! We are just very slow to learn how to manage thoughts effectively – hence the proliferation of Self Development material in the last few years – Facilitation being a key skillset in this domain. The first & still best, book I have read on Thoughts is What to Say When You Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstetter. probably out of print by now, but focuses on the vocabulary we use in our thoughts and how by changing this we can totally change our thoughts & feelings. So maybe the attention you give to your “train” could actually shift so that its destination becomes one of your choosing? That leads to the next challenge – do you know what you want?!!!! I struggle with this one a lot. For answers I turn to Reiki and the peace, tranquility and insight this practice brings, just need to practice a lot more! Namaste & Blessings for the New Year. Julia
Thanks Jeff and Julia for your kind responses. Julia, with regard to managing our thoughts and choosing a destination, I have this to say. I’ve come to learn only in the past couple of years, that the spiritual truth I was seeking has nothing to do with manipulation and manifestation of my experience in the world. While there is nothing wrong with attempting to manage your thoughts and use their creative potential, this at best helps one to awaken IN the dream. My desire is to awaken FROM the dream. And on this latter course, surrender of ALL thoughts to their source (ok words don’t work well here) leaves me in these moments to rest as the source. This is freedom.