What facilitators don’t know can serve their groups
In most cases, facilitators are highly regarded professionals. We must present a strong and professional image as we’re “on stage” much of the time, performing an important function for our clients, employees, students, neighbors, etc. And as is often the case with people standing in front of a room, orchestrating processes, offering feedback and advice, we are looked to as authorities, as experts, as wise men and women.
So it’s not surprising when we begin to believe these things about ourselves and feel we have to live up to the “image” of the professional expert. As this image takes hold in our own minds, it may be difficult at times to not have the answer or know where to go next. In and of itself, this is not a bad place to be, however, we can really short change those we serve by withholding this information.
Huh? What are you talking about? Are you asking me to share my weakness with my group? My clients? That would be suicide! I think it’s time to unsubscribe from this journal!
Now hold on dear reader. There may be another way to look at this. You see, I view Facilitation, or Facilitative Leadership, if you will, as a kind of a spiritual task. I suggest that one of the most powerful things you can do as a leader or as a facilitator is to empower your people to access and utilize their own wisdom and problem-solving skills as a group. This is not likely to happen when they are focused on you as the authority.
Application
The following are some suggestions to making the shift from a preferred image to a group servant.
Hold the space for truth and honesty. There are few places one can venture in the world where private truths can be fully shared and respected. The facilitator that gives voice to those subtle perceptions that no one sees or admits is very empowering, e.g., “I’m sorry people but I’m experiencing complete confusion right now and don’t know where to go next. What to you see right now?”
Be willing to be unliked. Putting yourself in the position of not knowing, shining the light on an unflattering behavior, or giving air time to a minority opinion can piss some people off. This may sometimes prevent you from sharing your full truth. Giving up your need to be liked by those you serve will, in the end, serve them best, and garner respect in the long run.
Find strength in your vulnerability. If you can view yourself as simply a catalyst for a dynamic and ongoing process, that process will evolve. A catalyst is not attached to its greatness. It is transformed in the process it seeks to catalyze. Sharing what’s real for you is transforming for all concerned. Surrender to being transformed by sharing your truth irrespective of your judgments about it. “I’ve never been here before, I’m not sure where we’re going, but I’m willing to be a mirror for you on the journey.”
See through eyes of innocence. A child doesn’t anticipate the outcome of sharing her truth, and as a result, is granted the gift of living fully in the present moment. Your innocence will allow you to release the sludge of judgment, fear, and withholding. If you begin to risk trusting your truth, your vulnerability, and your innocence; if you step into who you are, not what you know, you will help lead people to themselves, and their true strength.
Action
Where is “knowing too much” hanging you up as a leader and/or facilitator?. Choose one of the above actions to practice this week and journal your experiences. Please share your thoughts and experiences with me in the Comments Section below.
I’m reminded of the role of the shaman w/in a tribe. Someone has to be detached from the day-to-day realities of a group or team’s problem-solving. Who better to tap into the spiritual nature of the group dynamic than a facilitator who’s willing to admit they don’t know everything about everything or everyone? Of course the most effective facilitators are comfortable within this realm and often must accept the expertise of others from w/in the tribe. The chief is, well, the chief. Noble braves are the warrior class. Etc. etc. &tc. So the shaman being “on point” when structuring a retreat for all participants in the group sort of makes sense. Excuse me. It’s time to meditate.
I agree wholeheartedly. I also agree that we facilitators need to start this process as many groups are fixed on a top-down power dynamic, on sitting at the feet of the expert, and we have a duty to break that cycle for our own sanity and their learning and growth as individuals and as a group.
Of course the resistance we meet when we try to make that break can be very flattering – the choruses of “but we want to know whatyou think”. That in turn can make it easier for us to resist making the break. The dynamic of expert allows us to feel confident. It helps us to feel that groups have confidence in us. The sad thing is it is so limiting. That expertise only goes so far, and when we undeniably make a mistake our world can come crashing down with a pretty big bump. Once we shrug off that role we can begin to grow real confidence of the kind you describe that the role of servant brings us. It seems like my experience chimes with yours: groups respond so well to our humanity (mistakes and all(. Far better than they ever do to our expertise.
Thanks for the post – a useful reminder to resist the siren song of expertise
I love the way this is presented. These are such important tenants to facilitation (and life). I really like the reminder to be willing to be unliked. THAT is a struggle for me. Working on it though.
Thanks for the article!