Perhaps the shortest correspondence in history occurred in 1862 when author Victor Hugo left on vacation after submitting his manuscript Les Miserables to his publisher. After some time away and wondering how his book was doing, he sent the following letter to his publisher: “?” His publisher replied in kind with: “!”
The context I just provided in addition to the context you bring to this reading (especially if you’re familiar with this very famous story) allows this exceedingly small amount of information to convey quite a lot. Like any well crafted work of art or science, what gets left out is often far more than what’s left when we’re done. Every writer and every artist knows this.
Imagine the considerable thought that must have preceded the communication above. The nature and context of the relationship between these two men imbued these two simple characters with meaning far beyond their intrinsic capacity.
What I’m pointing to here is that elegant communication, written, oral, or fabricated in the form of art or science, necessitates the omission of a considerable amount of material. And just as it’s nearly impossible to know what was removed from the marble slab that freed Michelangelo’s statue of David, our only clue lies in the degree of elegance in the finished product.
The Danish writer Tor Norretranders coined a term for this missing information in his book, The User Illusion. He calls it exformation.
By now you’re probably wondering what this all has to do with facilitation? Well, now I’ll tell you. Facilitation is about making group work easy. And one of the most excruciating experiences we have as facilitators, trainers, students, leaders, and team members is the endless drone of too much information! Here are some painful examples:
- The presenter droning on for 10 minutes describing a single power point slide.
- The co-worker that insists on describing an endless string of irrelevant details in answer to a simple question.
- Discomfort with silence giving way to nervous chatter.
Exformation is the shared context that allows effective communication between those communicating. Attempts to resolve many communication problems often involves an increase of information flow. In reality, effective communication is more about sharing the right information in the right context and doing away with the rest. So how do we become aware of and facilitate this context? Good question, I’m about to exform you.
More Meaning, Less Information
I found something change in my demeanor the other day when I sat across from the table from a friend explaining exformation to him. After all, if I’m going to write about this, I ought to be able to do it. Right?
Overcome by the sheer weight of information bred by the information age, it may be time for the Age of Exformation! I believe this is something we have all been waiting for. So now I’ll share a few simple tips to held you and others facilitate the exformation of verbal communication.
Slow down.The most basic advice I have in communicating with elegance begins with simply slowing down. When we slow our output, it seems that ideas have time to bubble to the surface with increased clarity. And clearer thoughts and images are easier to describe in clear terms.
Listen to yourself. I notice that when I find myself rambling, it is noticed that I’m rambling, and I can stop. Finding yourself is the key. When I’m lost in my head, I’m lost. It’s like running into the store while you’ve left your car motor running. In a word, this is unconscious chatter. It’s a common habit, especially for those intellectuals among us, to sometimes speak when we’re fully absorbed in our thoughts. It is possible however to be aware of yourself speaking, to listen to the sound of your own voice, and the thoughts still come. In fact, they often come more refined this way.
Listen to the receiver. Exformation is about shared context. Consider and create shared experience with your listener for more effective communication. For example, though I’d only met Bill at the door five minutes ago, I allowed myself to be completely absorbed listening to him describe his love of basketball. While I’m not a fan at all, allowing myself to feel his experience like he was feeling it helped me into his world for a short while. From this place, we had a shared context, a place where I could point to things in his world to make my point.
Encourage Exformication. OK, this is a bit of a stretch but good humor is a prime example of exformation. The urban dictionary defines Exfornication as: The purification of one’s mind and body. Create an agreement with your groups and with your friends to practice the use of exformation. When your colleagues need a little help, ask them to exformicate or exfornicate. It’s good for a laugh and a great reminder to cut to the chase.
Action
I’m interested in hearing what you think of this article and any ideas you have to help spread the movement of less information, more meaning. Please share your ideas, questions, and experiences in the comments section below. We’d love to hear from you!
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My own experience is that the difficulty is to catch yourself talking too much. I may know that I do, I may know that less is more, but knowing it doesn’t make a difference when I’m in a situation where I’m nervous and just ramble away!
Quite an interesting concept you’ve shared in “the dawn of the exformation age.” With you permission I shall use this in a presentation I’m to give on December 17, 2010 w/in the Mid-Atlantic Facilitators Network’s Washington DC workshop series.
There’s so much meaning said or unsaid thru setting the stage and/or the use of contextual language. Gestures and other non-verbal cues enrich our effectiveness as facilitators. Who hasn’t used some time of voting gesture (thumb up, down, or sideways) to help a group move thru difficult discussions? We know that a thumbs up means the argument (or the presenter / gladiator) lives on. Conversely a thumbs down will kill an idea, argument, or in an extreme case the presenter.
Back in the 80′s, there was a manager in a company that besides repairing our own engineering products, we were repairing equipment of other manufacturers. He was a manager in the Tech Support area, which included the department that wrote repair manuals and made training videos for the repairmen. His favorite phrase at the end of any discussion would always be “Net it out for me”.
Many of us new to his style thought at first that he was not listening to the fine nuances we were trying to communicate. But after a while, we realized like everyone else working under him, that he had faith in not just our decyphering the detailed nuances we had found and shared, but that he had the faith in us to choose a direction through the nuances, and besides giving him short status reports, we felt we only needed his involvement to the point when we had a problem needing the involvement of others. Once we were familiar with his style, we saw why his department was one of the most productive, and had the happiest employees, and was better prepared than any other to take on the new business and new equipment contracts that we were signing weekly.
Serendipity in my life: I had just finished reviewing “Why Didn’t You Say That in the First Place? How to be Understood at Work.” by Richard Heyman (1994: Jossey-Bass Publishers). The basic premise of the book is that all clear communication depends on shared context. This context gives meaning to all that we say or write. Because all of us have different backgrounds and histories, misunderstanding is actually the norm. Only through talking and listening can we come to understand what the other means; can we create the shared context. The question for me becomes, at what point does developing the context – the shared meaning – become enough for the conversation/facilitation to proceed and not be TMI?
Good point Danielle. Knowing your pattern is not enough. Practice in self-awareness is required. The more you practice noticing yourself in the moment, the more noticing is available for you. When you notice, you have a choice, and not before.
I am glad to read your post about the exformation age. I have à blog focusing on the concept exformation and have written some post about the exformation society …
Hedin Exformation
When I read this article a year ago, I didn’t appreciate it and quite honestly, it didn’t really make sense. I came across this article again this morning. The world in which I work is changing a great deal as the company for which I work is going through a merger. I find myself barraged with information about the same topics that really do not have a lot of content and are designed more to encourage patience and enthusiasm than impart real infomation. This is advice that hits home NOW with me and I’m glad I found it again. Perhaps it is a topic that can be revisited again, Mr. Davis, in your blog with how it feels a year after discovering that you were at the beginnng of the Exformation Age.
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