The idea that we create our reality is as old as the ancient Hindu Vedas, which state that Atman (the individual) is Brahman (the cosmos). This suggests that the whole of experience somehow resides in our consciousness, and that it is our consciousness that shapes, attracts, or otherwise brings about what seem to be random events. Today, we have the hologram, DNA, and other scientific models of how the part can contain the whole, so this may be less foreign to our thinking than it was even fifty years ago. The metaphysical principle “As within, so without,” is another way of saying that our reality follows from the prevailing “weather” of our consciousness.

In simple ways we can see that belief is self-fulfilling: if we’re bitter and cynical, we may expect a like response from others, whereas if we are cheerful and generous, we invite this sort of thing in return. But the idea that we are, wittingly or not, creating our reality goes far beyond the psychological self-fulfillment of attitude or perception. We also literally embody intentions, deep structures of the psyche that comprise what we take to be real and that with which we identify, and these structures, exercising a nonlocal effect, ingeniously fulfill pay-offs in ways that defy direct cause-and-effect mapping. These fulfillments show up as synchronicities or “coincidences,” miracles, and moments when destiny seems to reach out and lay its hand on us.

The I that creates reality is not the I that we usually experience ourselves to be, not the I that we see in the mirror. This point can hardly be overstated. Many of us, caught up in new-age formulations of “we create our reality,” have attempted to use affirmations, visualizations, and other consciousness-as-cause techniques to make changes in our experience, only to find ourselves running into walls. Part of the problem is that this I that is willfully attempting to change events is itself not changing; it continues to be willful, and circumstances continue to reflect this willfulness by persisting. The approach is self-defeating.

The I that creates reality does not stand apart from the reality it creates. The reality-creating I is not the separate, willful self. This is a subtle but crucial point. We can’t change reality through personal will, because the very attempt confers the status of reality on the thing it seeks to change. In other words, as long as the will is attempting to make real something that it regards as not real, it has cast its vote wrongly, and secured the very outcome it would overcome. When we create conditions through force of will, the results are unpredictable and often fail to fulfill us. When we allow the re-creation of our consciousness, however, conditions change accordingly. So, our work is always on ourselves.

Unwitting Choice and Radical Responsibility

At first look, the phrase “unwitting choice” may seem self-contradictory, but the contradiction vanishes when we take into account the subtlety and ingenuity of human consciousness. We reach conclusions early in life, sometimes as a result of trauma, and often driven by the will to survive or to be accepted and loved.

For example, we may decide that it is noble to suffer, or to carry all responsibility alone, or that we exist to meet the needs of others and that by doing so, we will have our needs met in return. These stances earn certain payoffs: So, in the examples given, we will find that suffering is ever with us, or that others always seem to expect us to lead and come up with solutions, or that we are continually being taken advantage of or neglected. To be convincing, these things must appear to be happening to us rather than through us. Eventually, we come to believe that we’re seeing “how life is,” but we’re actually catching the boomerangs of hidden choices made long ago and wrapped in a self-induced amnesia.

As long as we hold to these stances, secretly disowning the inner process each moment, the magic trick is convincing, a sleight-of-mind through which cause presents itself as effect, and the creator, as victim. Taking “radical responsibility” for the events of our life-without self-judgment or blame of any kind-is the key to uplifting the self and aligning individual (Particle) consciousness with the miraculous efficiency of the Field.

The idea of radical responsibility is based on the working assumption that, at its deepest levels, Particle consciousness is causative. Taking this sort of responsibility involves looking “through” events to identify themes in our experience, then responding more to these themes than to the circumstances themselves. There may be several “charged” situations at a given time in more than one area, as though the Field wants to get our attention, e.g., conflict at home over finances, something upsetting happening at work, and sudden mechanical problems with the car. The student then scans these seemingly random and discrete situations for a common theme, finding it much the same way that we discover the meaning of a dream. Once the theme is clear, the student takes responsibility for its manifesting, in whatever way intuition indicates, The shift in the student’s consciousness is then complete, and before long, circumstances fall in line with the shifted consciousness.

© Philip Golabuk, 2012, FieldProject.net

Action

Scan your life for themes this week. What did you find? How would you like it to be different? Will you allow yourself to be it?  Share your questions, feedback, or experience below.

The Dualistic Nature of Values and Internal Value Dynamics

According to John Tropman in his book “Making Meetings Work, he claims that many traditional conflict-management approaches make assumptions that get in the way of possible solutions. One of those assumptions is that individuals are clear about their values. In other words, “they have a well-ordered set of value preferences, so that winning is clear to them.”

Now personally, I can remember many times when I’ve argued a certain point with conviction, only to realize a few minutes, hours, or days later that I could have just as easily taken the opposite view. Often this other view will have been attributed to another value I hold that might not have, at least in that moment, or within that particular context, carried the same weight in my mind as the value that inspired the argument.

Time is Money

This happens to all of us whether we’re conscious of it or not. Each individual has their own internal sets of values that are not always in harmony. For example, most everyone values freedom, right? And most would argue that some level of security is important. But we’ve experienced very clearly over the past few years that increasing levels of security require reduction of some of our freedoms. We value them both, but satisfying one “costs” some of the other. As another example, think “time” and “money.” Those of us who work for a living are intimately aware of this one. Work more and you have more money, but we all know what working more does to our time. Time is money. We value them both but usually have to trade one for the other. These examples could go on and on.

Dualist Values Theory

The dualistic theory of values holds the following premises:

• Most of us hold many values–not just one or two.
• The values we hold conflict with each other. Maximizing one value “costs” another.
• Values we learn come in juxtaposed pairs. Competition and cooperation are a good example. They are not opposites. One can be highly committed to both.

 Recognizing that we have conflicting commitments within ourselves is a key to effective conflict resolution.

Key Conflicting Values in Organizational Culture

Tropman identifies the following nine value pairs that seem to show up continually as conflict themes throughout business cultures.

1. Multipurpose versus “unipurpose.” Unipurpose, such as “bottom line” is all that counts, conflicts with others views that there’s more to it. Things like integrity, customer satisfaction, retention, etc. A unipurpose focus can lead to premature action, while a multipurpose focus can lead to stalled action.

2. Pragmatism versus excellence. A pragmatic focus says “let’s just do it already!” While a focus on excellence wants to wait until it’s near perfect. As with the previous value set, premature or stalled action can result from embracing only one of these values.

3. Status versus class. This value pair reflects the issue of group versus individual gains. Class-oriented results benefit the group or organization as a whole, while status-oriented results benefit individuals on an independent or one-on-one basis.

4. Personal versus organizational purpose. A personal value focus asks the question, “What’s in it for me.” The organizational purpose focus asks, “What’s in it for the company?” These values also need to be balanced to some degree in any good decision.

5. Empirical versus qualitative decision-making bases. This value pair contrasts those who prefer to make decisions based on their “gut” (empirical) with those who “fly by the numbers” (qualitative). Numbers rarely tell the whole story but they do have validity and merit. An intuitive approach is hard to verify and harder to defend if it goes wrong. A blend of these two approaches is usually best.

6. Disposable labor versus intimate concern for labor. This pair contrasts the view that people are just cogs in the organizational machine with the view that employees are just as important as external customers and should be treated with equal respect.

7. Achievement versus equality. This pair is concerned with merit reward as opposed to equal treatment across the board. A simple metaphor might be the philosophies that underlay”capitalism” and “socialism.” Again, another rich source of conflict.

8. Results versus effort. This pair speaks to the challenge of balancing the relationship between results and effort. When results aren’t forthcoming, more effort is required. But how much is too much?

9. Results versus control. This pair speaks to the fact that all managers want results, but some find it difficult to give up the amount of control necessary for those results to occur.

The balancing and managing of these conflicting value pairs is the key to effective decision-making. Each situation will, of course, call for a different weighing of each value in the pair and finding the right balance is more an art than a science. Use the guidelines below to help you manage these value conflicts.
Managing Value Conflicts

Here are three techniques used to manage value conflicts:

Transcendence Recognition. A conflict is composed of at least two elements: 1) The “object” of the conflict, i.e. the external factors. In a conflict between a merit-based versus an across the board pay increase, the proposed merit system is the “object” of the conflict. 2) The “values” held form the “subjective” foundation of the conflict. This is often why trying to change individuals is so difficult, their values aren’t going to change during the course of the conflict. But recognizing and discussing the value pairs in question, and the fact that everyone values both sides to some degree, will take some of the charge out of the conflict and turn it into more of a dilemma faced by the group as a whole, instead of a conflict between the “righteous” and the “heretics.”

Value Finesse. It’s human nature to push back when pushed against. This approach appreciates this tendency by avoiding taking on other’s values head on. Because value commitments are not unitary, that is exclusively held by an individual, we can seek to find where a person has commitments to the subordinate value in a value pair in a given situation is still important to this person in some other area. For example, consider that a manager is dead set against a new policy that increases vacation time because she is a strong advocate of the “disposable labor” value. Finding a place in her life where might have intimate concern for labor might have her take a more balanced view of the situation. Perhaps her teenaged child was employed and taken advantage of by her employer.

In this situation, individuals are not being asked to give up anything but are asked instead to invoke something that is already present within them. They are being asked “in this instance” or “for this purpose” or “at this moment” to also recognize the alternate value in the value pair in question, a value to which they are most likely committed somewhere in their lives at sometime.

Validation. Most everyone has a strong need or at least a desire to “be right.” When it comes to values, this phrase applies to most of us, “We’d rather be right than win.” Put another way, being right is winning. So in the example above, where making a decision based on disposable labor might actually be the “right” decision from a scientific sense, but on this occasion, based on pressures on management to consider working conditions, a decision based on intimate concern must be made. This kind of discussion can lead to a sort of “double” win. Whereas those for the option decided upon wins by getting what they wanted, while the other side can celebrate a “values win” in that their view was validated even though they “lost” in this particular instance.

This approach concedes the complexity of elements present in any given situation and allows several people to win different elements of total picture. This in effect constitutes a win-win even though a decision was made that wasn’t acceptable to both parties. One party wins on value grounds while the other wins on implementation.

In summary, it’s useful to recognize that value conflicts occur “within” people as much as they do “between” people. Almost all values are valued by everyone at some time, in some context, in some situation. Helping people understand the value pairs in play in a given conflict and helping them to see where both of these values are important and need to be balanced in some way can reduce the emotional energy people exert toward one another. This energy can then be collectively applied to solving and implementing solutions based on a value balance appropriate to the given situation.

Action

What was the last time you were in or witnessed a conflict based on one of the value pairs above? Knowing what you know now, how might you have proceeded differently? I’d love to hear from you. Please click on Add Your Comments to share your experiences, questions, or feedback.

What facilitators don’t know can serve their groups

In most cases, facilitators are highly regarded professionals. We must present a strong and professional image as we’re “on stage” much of the time, performing an important function for our clients, employees, students, neighbors, etc. And as is often the case with people standing in front of a room, orchestrating processes, offering feedback and advice, we are looked to as authorities, as experts, as wise men and women.

So it’s not surprising when we begin to believe these things about ourselves and feel we have to live up to the “image” of the professional expert. As this image takes hold in our own minds, it may be difficult at times to not have the answer or know where to go next. In and of itself, this is not a bad place to be, however, we can really short change those we serve by withholding this information.

Huh? What are you talking about? Are you asking me to share my weakness with my group? My clients? That would be suicide! I think it’s time to unsubscribe from this journal!

Now hold on dear reader. There may be another way to look at this. You see, I view Facilitation, or Facilitative Leadership, if you will, as a kind of a spiritual task. I suggest that one of the most powerful things you can do as a leader or as a facilitator is to empower your people to access and utilize their own wisdom and problem-solving skills as a group. This is not likely to happen when they are focused on you as the authority.

Application

The following are some suggestions to making the shift from a preferred image to a group servant.

Hold the space for truth and honesty. There are few places one can venture in the world where private truths can be fully shared and respected. The facilitator that gives voice to those subtle perceptions that no one sees or admits is very empowering, e.g., “I’m sorry people but I’m experiencing complete confusion right now and don’t know where to go next. What to you see right now?”

Be willing to be unliked. Putting yourself in the position of not knowing, shining the light on an unflattering behavior, or giving air time to a minority opinion can piss some people off. This may sometimes prevent you from sharing your full truth. Giving up your need to be liked by those you serve will, in the end, serve them best, and garner respect in the long run. 

Find strength in your vulnerability. If you can view yourself as simply a catalyst for a dynamic and ongoing process, that process will evolve. A catalyst is not attached to its greatness. It is transformed in the process it seeks to catalyze. Sharing what’s real for you is transforming for all concerned. Surrender to being transformed by sharing your truth irrespective of your judgments about it. “I’ve never been here before, I’m not sure where we’re going, but I’m willing to be a mirror for you on the journey.”

See through eyes of innocence. A child doesn’t anticipate the outcome of sharing her truth, and as a result, is granted the gift of living fully in the present moment. Your innocence will allow you to release the sludge of judgment, fear, and withholding. If you begin to risk trusting your truth, your vulnerability, and your innocence; if you step into who you are, not what you know, you will help lead people to themselves, and their true strength.

Action

Where is “knowing too much” hanging you up as a leader and/or facilitator?. Choose one of the above actions to practice this week and journal your experiences. Please share your thoughts and experiences with me in the Comments Section below.

Tension is a force of nature that often inspires evolution and the creation of more complex systems. So perhaps sometimes some groups are better off being at odds with one another. When I consider my own life, I realize there are times when my thoughts, feelings, and actions aren’t congruent. I know this is true for most of us at least some of the time. So no wonder groups have a hard time aligning their efforts. After all, aren’t they simply a macro reflection of their individual members?

I recently came upon the Co-Intelligence Institute. They present a five-level model of intelligence that may contribute to the alignment of groups and the individuals that comprise them. Before we present this model, here are some relevant definitions that accompany it.

Intelligence – Intelligence is more than IQ. It is the whole palette of capacities through which we continually create a fit between our minds and lives and the world around us.

Co-intelligence – Co-intelligence is intelligence that is guided by and nurtures wholeness. Co-intelligence manifests in diverse ways that reflect wholeness, such as the integration of our heads and our hearts, the wisdom of spirit and nature, the collective intelligence of groups, communities, whole societies, and much more.

Wholeness – As noted above, co-intelligence is intelligence that is guided by and nurtures wholeness. Wholeness refers to the evolving inclusive coherence of life and its various parts, and the relationship dynamics between those parts. This coherence underlies familiar concepts like health, integrity, wholesomeness, holiness, and other holistic concepts. Comprehending the many dimensions and dynamics of wholeness can help us understand and enhance co-intelligence.

Wisdom – Co-intelligent theory views wisdom as the capacity to appreciate the wholeness of life with an expanded, deepened perspective — and to act on that appreciation to produce long-term common good, or useful lessons in that direction. Most phenomena normally associated with wisdom (compassion, humility, insight, etc.) are embraced by this view. Most importantly, wisdom in co-intelligence theory includes the expansion of perspective and co-creativity that’s possible through dialogue among diverse people or viewpoints. This is a major foundation for a wise democracy.

 APPLICATION

 Five Dimensions of Co-Intelligence

The five dimensions of co-intelligence so far identified are multi-modal intelligence, collaborative intelligence, wisdom, collective intelligence and universal intelligence.

If we are to know life at a deeper, more engaged level, we’ll need to develop a deeper, more engaged intelligence that includes all these dimensions. The Co-Intelligence Institute offers a vision of such intelligence — a co-intelligent world view based on five revolutionary premises:

1) There is more to intelligence than brains and logic. Many varieties of intelligence are available to us.

Multi-modal intelligence means there are many ways to learn, know and engage with the world. Our bodies, minds, hearts and spirits contain a full palette of intelligences — emotional, analytic, intuitive, kinesthetic, narrative, moral… We can use more of these and integrate them better — especially in synergy with other people, since we’re all capable in such different ways.

“It is of the utmost importance that we recognize and nurture all of the varied human intelligences….If we can mobilize the spectrum of human abilities, not only will people feel better about themselves and more competent; it is even possible that they will also feel more engaged and better able to join the rest of the world community in working for the broader good.”
– Harvard professor Howard Gardner, “Multiple Intelligences: The Theory in Practice” –

2) There is more to intelligence than successfully predicting and controlling things. We can creatively respond to life. We can collaborate with the world around us.

Collaborative intelligence means finding and working with all the available allies and cooperative forces around us – and there are many. There are always energies we can fruitfully align with, both existing and potential – even within the heart of adversaries and problems. Working with each other, with nature, and with the natural tendencies in us and the world, we can accomplish more with less, and enjoy it more.

“Rather than asking, ‘What can I get from this land, or person?’ we can ask, ‘What does this person, or land, have to give if I cooperate with them?’…. Everything is a positive resource; it is up to us to work out how we may use it as such.”
– Bill Mollison, “Permaculture: A Practical Guide for a Sustainable Future” –

3) There’s more to intelligence than solving the problems in front of our faces. There’s wisdom
–the big picture, the long term.

Wisdom means seeing beyond immediate appearances and acting with greater understanding to affirm the life and development of all involved. It involves balance, mystery and tolerance of ambiguity and change. The expanded perspective that accompanies wisdom fosters wonder, humility, compassion and humor.

“The creative edge of truth begins to shift from knowledge to wisdom…[thus moving] on to the challenges of balance, perspective, sustainability and integration.”
– Charles M. Johnston, “Necessary Wisdom” –

4) There is more to intelligence than individual intelligence. There is collective intelligence, the intelligence we generate together.

Collective intelligence means that families, groups, organizations, communities and entire societies can act intelligently as whole, living systems. What we believe, what we do, and how we organize our collective affairs can make or break our collective intelligence. We could improve our collective intelligence to a point where humanity not only survives and flourishes into the foreseeable future, but consciously evolves.

“We need a collective intelligence of a kind that may not have characterized the human
species in the past.”
– Paul Hawken, James Ogilvy, Peter Schwartz, “Seven Tomorrows,” a report on the work of the futures research group at Stanford Research Institute –

5) There is more to intelligence than human intelligence. Intelligence is a property of the universe and of all that’s in it.

Universal intelligence is the intrinsic tendency for things to self-organize and co-evolve into ever more complex, intricately interwoven and mutually compatible forms. Our human intelligence is but one manifestation of that universal dynamic. The more we are conscious of universal intelligence and connect ourselves to it, the more intelligence (and wisdom) we’ll have to work with.

“The mind, I believe, exists in some very real sense in the universe…. Mind was a primary part of nature from the beginning and we are simply manifestations of it…. mind is inherent in the way the universe is built.”
– Astrophysicist Freeman Dyson, “US News and World Report” (4/28/88) –

ACTION

How can you use the concept of co-intelligence in your groups? Share your questions, feedback, or comments below.

As we advance in our field, it’s easy to give less regard to the basics. Yet no matter how complex our activities are, the basics always form the foundation upon which everything else rests. The highest buildings take advantage of the latest in engineering and materials sciences, yet they must rest on the deepest and and most stable foundations. The higher they rise, the deeper these foundations must go. Similarly, as we grow as facilitators, our success depends on a firm commitment to the foundations of our most complex skills.

I’ve often been struck when listening to celebrated experts in various fields. What usually seems to set them apart for me is their way of fully embracing and articulating the obvious. They are easy to understand. Their their language is simple and clear and resonates with a deep understanding of the foundations of their field.

In the past few facilitation workshops I’ve delivered, I’ve noticed a pattern amongst the facilitator participants, many of whom were intermediate and advanced practitioners. Some of the most basic skills were consistently overlooked. For example, many times small groups would move forward on an activity we assigned them without fully understanding what they were expected to do. Or, they would move forward in a given direction, not really happy with how it was going, but not checking in to consider changing their approach. Under the pressure to just get something done, anything done, even experienced facilitators sometimes forget the basics.

 Application

Getting rescued from the clouds. So what can we do about this amnesia of the basics? The following three tips are intended to help you stay grounded in the basics whether you are leading or participating in a group.

Be willing to ask “dumb” questions (these are often the most important). When working as a leader or member of a group, we’ve all experienced the feeling that we don’t understand what’s going on. Either we aren’t tracking with the discussion 100% of the time and missed something that was said, or everyone in the group isn’t on the same page. Actually, no one ever tracks with a group all of the time and seldom is a group in complete understanding of itself. Yet, when we feel we don’t understand, most of us have the impression that we’re the only ones feeling this way. We’ve been conditioned to keep our mouths shut and not to interrupt. Your willingness to voice your discomfort and confusion in the group will be a welcome gift most of the time.

Have the courage to yell “stop!” Even when employing the most wonderful group process, if it’s not working for a particular group at a particular time then a change is advised. Usually, just stopping the process to check in will make it clear what’s in the way or if a new process needs to be applied. Sometimes however, it’s hard to stop a group when everyone seems to be “going along” and in action. We seem to be addicted to action, no matter where it’s leading us. Often all it takes is one bold soul to ask the question, “How is this working for you?” to jar people into reality.

Always start at square one, with the basics of who, what, and how. No matter how advanced we are as facilitators and as a group, there are simple foundational questions that must be answered if we are to progress together. These are: “What are we doing?” (what’s our goal here today); “How are we going to do it?” (what process will we use?); and “Who will do what?” (who will facilitate, scribe, keep time, share expertise, etc.) If any of these questions ever become unclear, you will be wise to ask about them. And this is true whether you’re leading the group or not.

Most important thing to remember most of all is to never think that you are beyond the basics. As soon as you do, you’re liable to fall. What are your ideas on this subject? I’d love to hear them.

Action

How will you recommit to the basics this week? I’d love to hear from you. Share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic below.

My inquiry into the concept and practice of intuition among my peers led to many interesting responses. I’ve organized these questions and their responses below in a way I hope you’ll find useful.

What is intuition?

Intuition: 1. a. The act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes; immediate cognition. b. Knowledge gained by the use of this faculty; a perceptive insight. 2. A sense of something not evident or deducible; an impression.

It’s the part of me that speaks to possibility. It’s the part that pays attention to not just what is, but what might be? It’s the part of me that asks questions in the moment. Where is this activity, discussion, exercise heading right now? How are people responding? Does this feel like the right course to take, or should I choose another?

Intuition is a “gut feel,” a “sense,” a “knowing,” that may not be supported with logic.

It’s about trusting what I’ve learned and experienced, with a little bit of self control. The “self control” comes from asking the questions:

- Is this an area in which I know I’m weak and possibly mis-directed?
- Am I advancing the goals of the situation? (group, coaching client, etc.)
- Could I possibly be generating conflict or creating unwanted disturbance?

For me, these questions are so internalized that I can usually answer them within a second or two. It’s my “gut feel” about whether I’m doing the right thing.

I believe intuition is evidence of the connection between me and the Consciousness that created me. It’s communication on all levels; it’s what I hear when I listen with my heart. I don’t mean that in a sentimental or ‘soft’ way, but rather, expansively and courageously being willing to consider that I can’t think of everything or notice everything with just my brain (there’s a reason my brain is encased in a box!). Through intuition, I can be aware of ‘more’ of what’s available, coming through all of my senses, without the limiting filter of logic, judgment, or reasoned thinking. This is a very valuable tool available the facilitator.

How does one typically receive intuition?

Through active listening. By noticing the emotion and the energy in the room. By intensely paying attention on multiple levels to what is happening for the participants.

It seems to be a non-localized, very simple and sudden inspiration or insight; it’s like the feeling you get when you want to shift position to be more comfortable. You can feel the shift coming; it feels like a pulling or prompting, a subtle encouragement to move. The sensation lasts only for a moment, regardless of what I decide to do after my brain gets hold of it.

I receive intuition first of all via a feeling that either something doesn’t add up despite it looking OK on the surface or, something does add up (seems to be the right way to go) even though logic would say otherwise.

Intuition seems to show up for people in different ways. For some, it’s a physical feeling in the gut, for others a vague prickle on the skin somewhere, for others it may seem like a direct knowing.

Intuition has a lot to do with trust. If you don’t trust that your intuition is available to you whenever you need it, it’s as if you closed the door to that resource. Intuition is the trust that all you know, all you have experienced, all you have heard and seen is there for you. The process of intuition is the alchemy of this knowing and experience that makes it possible to do the right intervention at the right time. Intuition works best when you are in a state of “‘flow.”

Intuition sometimes comes to us when we’re in action, often coming to meet us when we express the courage to act boldly without exactly knowing what we’re going to do. In the action lies the answer.

Application

How can we best use intuition as facilitators?

I use it to course correct, to change activities on the fly (shorten them, lengthen them, dump them, make them up in the moment). I check in with my client at the next pause or break to find out if what I am feeling is a good read on the group. My intuition may not always be right or appropriate to act upon, so I get validation to help me make better decisions from it.

I’ve learned to pay attention to it, and to risk trusting it, even when I don’t understand it. I let my coaching clients and my students know that I do this and that I’m not attached to being right, but rather, to being receptive. Many times they make sense from it, even when it makes no sense to me. I’ve decided that sometimes the meaning of my intuition is really none of my business! What’s important is that I can use it as a resource to help me stay present and tuned into my clients and students so that I’m fully engaged in providing the coaching and facilitation that is called for, rather than limiting it to what I think they should get. Coaching and facilitation are much more fun, enjoyable, and effective when I’m coming from this place, rather than trying to force an outcome or operating from “up in my head.”

As a facilitator, intuition helps me assess the group processes, determine when to change its direction or my approach, guides me to helping the group move forward, leads me to ask the tough questions, gives me insight into what the group may need or how and where the group may be going. Ignoring me intuition usually results in inflexible processes and results

Intuition is linked to trust for me as a facilitator. I love people. I find them amazing and I love their varying energies and personalities. They all fascinate me. And, I think that I build rapport and trust so that I am open to subtle changes in energies, emotions, and moods that cannot be seen or described, just felt. As a facilitator, this means that I can send and receive messages on a nonverbal level–an understanding is built–and energies are recognized sooner than if I were waiting for direct verbal or even visual messages.

When I work with individuals or groups I prepare carefully everything that is needed, but then I let it go. When I start working I am focused on the other(s), what happens to them, between them, and in relation to myself. At the same time, I am self-aware, grounded and relaxed. The interventions I make based on my intuition sometimes surprise me. Afterwards I try to understand how I came to this intervention and how effective it was.

Sometimes the gut feel is misinformed. So part of using intuition is to carefully listen for feedback after I’ve taken action, to see if I’ve done something wrong. I often test my intuition by challenging my client with a questions such as, “I’m sensing that you’re avoiding talking about X.” Here are some important points about this approach:

- By saying “I’m sensing that…” I’m indicating that I might well be wrong.
- I’m also indicating that it’s only my observation, which may not be what the client’s experiencing. If I want to challenge the client further I might ask, “What would happen if other people observed that too?”
- I’m trying to be as nonjudgmental as possible.

The critical thing here is to deeply listen to what the client says next. She might be silent, or dismiss the observation, or argue with it, or avoid it entirely. But any one of those responses gives me immediate feedback about whether my intuition was correct, and what I can learn from it.

Here’s a Story to illustrate this point during a meeting I led a couple of years ago…

We had a diverse set of people who were focusing on brainstorming and organizing, and I had a process that had worked well before. One of the key influencers in the group said, “Gee, Carl, every time we do this you approach it the same way. I’m getting tired of it. How about if we did it differently?”

At that point I realized I’d fallen into a pattern of convenience, and had a quick decision to make about whether to redirect the process. I asked the group as a whole whether they would support doing this. Fortunately my “gut feel” to their responses helped me understand that there was little danger in redirecting and that I would gain the enthusiastic support of this key person if I supported her suggestion. So we changed the process right there, and things worked out great. My intuition was telling me that although the approach was different than I had planned, that I would create more total positive energy in the group by supporting the change. I quickly analyzed the change and decided that it would reach the same goals.

And, of course, I was tuned in during the rest of the meeting to sense whether we would go off-course, or people would feel disenfranchised by the new approach. But everything turned out great, there were no surprises.

How can one further develop intuition as a skill?

Don’t judge, don’t assume. Be open, listen, pause and check in, reflect, be more aware of your own responses, feelings, and inner sensations.

Be open, patient, and set aside your ego as best you can. The more you practice trusting, acting upon, and assessing the results of using your intuition, the more powerful this resource will become. But the key is trust and believing.

Incorporate internal practices such as meditation, affirmations, surrender, and loving and trusting yourself and your inner promptings.

Acting on your intuition often requires that you take a risk sharing something or doing something for whose purpose you don’t quite understand. This takes courage. You can get better at this by practicing releasing your need to be right, and/or give yourself permission to be wrong!

I often ask my clients to imagine that their intuition has shape, form and texture, and then describe it in detail; what does it sound like, where do they feel it in their body; what color is it; what is the texture, temperature and tone? I encourage them to keep track of their intuitive ‘hits’, to pay attention to when and where they show up. It isn’t about proving it right or wrong, but about developing the skill of subtle perception.

Become an intensely active listener, on all levels. Listen beyond the words. Listen to tone, notice body language patterns, degrees of engagement, listen to the buzz in the room. Pay attention to what is working for a group and what’s not. Risk going “off script” every once in awhile and notice what happens. When you notice a feeling in your gut, check it out with your group or with someone your trust. Eventually, you’ll learn what feelings to respond to, and which you can ignore.

Action

What can you do to fine tune your intuition? What action can you take this week to tap into your intuitive resources further? What question is really bugging you that you’d be willing to surrender to your intuitive guidance? Share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic in the box below. I’d love to hear from you!

To be quite honest, the more I learn about group process the easier and the harder it gets. Harder because every group that comes along surprises me in some way. Perhaps with increasing humility inspired by my increasing years, I tend to look and listen just a little closer to the nuances present in each new group. And though human dynamics in each group have many similarities, they are also unique in their makeup and their challenges. As I come to recognize that being surprised is part of the game, I come to welcome the mystery more as an adventure to enjoy than an unknown to fear. And trust that going on the voyage equipped with my essentials, I cannot fail and commit myself to the prospect that we will all gain through the experience in some way.

Identify Your Core Gifts

What is your gift as a human being? How do you significantly advance the work of any group you lead or participate in, simply by showing up authentically and doing what comes naturally to you? I believe that it might be a great exercise to answer this question in the form of a handful of facilitative perspectives, attitudes, or actions, to strengthen everything else you do as a group servant, and provide great value even if you show up with nothing else. Here are some of my own as I see them:

I show up as the clearest mirror I can be. One of the greatest insights people can gain from each other is a view of themselves from the outside. We sometimes go through our lives so much on automatic pilot we lose the connection between cause and effect. That is, those things we do that we might not notice (causes) that are bringing results that we might not like (effects). It’s a rare privilege granted to you as facilitators and group leaders to point out and reflect the actions of others and how we experience them. Remember that polished mirrors reflect best. So practice releasing inner chatter as best you can, and marshall the courage to express what you see and sense, if it will explicitly advance your group’s purpose, as clearly and as compassionately as you can.

I come with beginner’s mind. I believe that there’s great power in approaching every new group as if it’s the first one I’ve ever worked with. To approach each life experience with “beginner’s mind” is a tall order, particularly so as our experience base grows. Yet the fresh openness to mystery and possibility offers those we serve a potent invitation to see the world in this same way themselves. Unencumbered with past failures and worn out solutions, chances are better that a fresh new idea or solution will emerge.

It’s never about me, even when it is. It’s essential to take nothing personally as a group leader, even when under personal attack. People only attack when they’re hurting or scared. Remembering this will afford you perspective you can use when walking through the hot spots of group process. Quiet presence, again like a mirror, in the face of attack is disarming, even alarming, in a world out of control. Cultivating the ability to reflect peace in the face of fear has a transforming effect on others.

I surrender the task to them. It’s imperative to trust in the resources of the group and in the process in which you have them engaged to accomplish the tasks before them. If you are afraid that they cannot accomplish their goal and apply your genius to save them, they will smell your fear and be weakened by your efforts to help. Your trust, if well placed, and backed with conviction will inspire.

I’m a compass who facilitates the course. If you do nothing but help a group come to a clear understanding of their goal, the average group will have gained a great deal. If you then serve as their beacon, amidst confusion and haste, helping them compare each action to the results they seek, forward progress is inevitable.

Action

Drawing on the above examples, make a list of the key gifts you bring to your groups that are effortless for you to give, Please share them with us. We’d love to hear from you! Add your comments below to share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic.

In this week’s issue entitled, The Art of Not Doing, we explore the radical idea of not doing to support the emergence of solutions to our problems both individually and in our groups.

Our personal and business lives are defined by going after what we want, and fighting or running from what we don’t want. We’re advised about what food we should eat, what drugs or supplements we should take, and what we should think and believe. For any question or problem you have, people will line up to tell you what you should do about it.

I remember working for the government in a fast-paced flight test environment many years ago. It seemed that crisis was the rule of the day. People frantically scurried about responding to the never ending supply of problems. I began to observe that if I quickly responded to a supposed crisis or to a request for action, I often had to undo this action the very next day. I soon learned that not immediately responding was usually the best approach. More than half the time, the action that was an urgent necessity yesterday was today withdrawn or changed to a new option today. Ironically, I found that by slowing down my doing, I had a whole lot more time to get more done and a lot less stress doing it!

So I wonder. What if the source of many of our problems, both personal and professional are simply the product of a matrix of erroneous observations, thoughts, and assumptions? The biggest problem being, our belief that they are true. What happens if we continue to dip into the source of our problems in search of their solutions?

So how does this apply practically to group leadership? I have no idea. Why don’t we wait until tomorrow and see what answers we wake up with. I’m only partially kidding. Since you’ll probably not want another email on this subject tomorrow, some things do need to be done today. Let’s see what wants to write itself below.

APPLICATION

When confronted with problems and challenges begging for solution and action, perhaps on occasion a perspective of negation may yield some fresh insights. Here are some questions to apply to the situation that may help you to take a fresh perspective.

- What happens if you do nothing? It’s rare than a problem requires an immediate response or solution. Sometimes no response, or a response later in time is better. This is so if the problem goes away on its own, changes into a more or less complex problem, or if more information becomes available over time that will contribute to a better solution.

- What can you stop doing that might help the situation? Perhaps the problem that exists is the result of someone, somewhere doing something that might best not be done. If your problem is being overweight, not eating so much is a very inexpensive part of the solution.

- Is the problem you’re fixing really the problem? It’s not uncommon for us to assume that our definition of the problem is accurate. The problem defined may in fact be a symptom of a deeper problem. The current health care debate in the U.S. comes to mind as a great example. Here we are trying to provide everyone with health care by a system that does a better job at keeping people sick that it does of healing them. Please, my health can afford that kind of help!

- Are the current “doers” the best ones to be doing it? Perhaps there are people doing things that should stop doing them, allowing them to be done by others. For example, I’d be better off devoting time I spend on administrative functions to creative and marketing functions.

- How can you stop being so serious? The greatest discoveries and solutions throughout history have nearly always come not when the discoverer was busy doing, but when he or she was in an open, relaxed space. This doesn’t mean that preparatory work isn’t necessary, but it does mean that there comes a time when we need to relax, take a break, get a massage, and let the best solution emerge. Not from our thinking but from the source of our thoughts.

A mind continuing to seek for solutions in the same morass that created it is a futile pursuit. The truth that’s dawning on me is, what we don’t do, don’t think, don’t eat, and don’t believe may be the missing (literally) link to our well-being!

ACTION

Are you over-doing it? If so, where? What are you willing to not do? I’m interested in hearing your perspectives on this and how this information might help you facilitate groups as either a leader or as a participant. Just click Add Your Comments below to share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic.

From what I hear out there, most people are VERY busy. I used to be too so I know what that’s like. I remember that sometimes I felt good, or even important when being busy. But on the other hand, part of me would yearn for more free time and space. The Judeo-Christian culture has defined busyness to be next to Godliness. In my experience, busyness can be used to avoid ourselves and our lives and actually cut us off from Source.

This is subject is becoming even more pressing of late. We get so busy doing things that we often miss the source of the problems we’re busy solving. Further, our busyness can get us so disconnected from our natural guidance system, that we need motivation programs and gurus of every ilk to tell us what to do.

This week’s article, Getting to the Bottom of Yourself speaks to an experience I had one day last year where my body just made me STOP. And in that space, some insights came that could be useful for us as individuals as well as group leaders. I hope you enjoy it and as always, I look forward to your comments!

The Point

This morning I got up with virtually no motivation to write this article. I’ve been working for about three weeks straight in front of this computer. When not writing or emailing, I’m reading about the latest solutions and strategies designed to answer all of life’s problems. The last thing I felt like doing was to add just one more piece of advice to the growing pile.

Often, a long walk will help me recover a fresh perspective, but that did little good this morning. After the walk, I was compelled to sit down and meditate. Over the next half hour, motivation returned along with some insights I thought worthy of sharing.

We humans are designed to take in only so much before the necessity to empty ourselves. Yet we are embedded in a multi-media jungle where we’re bombarded with information and mental distractions 24/7. Everyone is vying for our attention, offering an infinite supply of messages telling us what to do, to get what we want, so that we can be all we can be. And many of these messages offer to teach us how to be even more cunning in attracting attention in this increasingly dense info jungle.

While many of these sources offer perfectly good advice, none of them are walking in my shoes. None of them know what’s right for me right now. While sitting this morning, it took some time to peel off multiple layers of unnecessary ideas, perspectives, and beliefs, to reach my quiet center. When that happened, I felt the burden lift and rose off the coach to write this article.

Application

Today I’m not going to tell you what you should do. Instead, I offer only a few perspectives to point the way to undoing.

Excavate for Clarity. If we are truly leading groups to help them find what works for them, there is precious little we need to be adding to their equation. We may be serving them better by helping them unload and unlearn and then see what’s left. I suppose this is why venting or check in’s can be so helpful for groups. What does your group need to dump?

Examine Your Operating System. The planet has be operating on autopilot for thousands of years. Old beliefs passed down from one generation are readily adopted and enacted by the next. So few of us examine who’s lives we’re really living. When was the last time you examined the most basic assumptions about who you are and what you’re doing? You know the ones. The assumptions so basic you consider to be facts, and don’t see a reason to question. What if at your next meeting, you asked people to spend a few minutes questioning the obvious as a welcome activity?

Missing Motivation is Information. There are numerous techniques designed to motivate others. But when we’re not motivated, perhaps what we’re unmotivated to do is best not done, at least for now. Or, maybe there’s a message inside that needs to be heard. Often the best way to hear that message is to stop doing, be quiet, and listen. Healthy motivation is not forced. It arises from within. What quiet little voice is waiting to be heard in your group?

Seek Questions as Often as Answers. Compelling questions can open and orient us. In fact, the purpose of an organization’s Vision statement is to do just that. A compelling vision shows the direction to walk toward an impossible dream. A dream so big that it can never be achieved. A space so large that while it offers direction, it can never quite be filled. It serves as a vacuum of sorts into which healthy motivation can flow. What question would serve your group to live?

Application

Do you need to do some emptying? If so, give yourself some time to unload and offload the burden of what you think you know. Let me know what happens. Just Add Your Comments below to share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic.