My thinking on this problem was expanded recently when I came across an article by Mary Boone, President of Boone Associates called ROM: Return on Meetings. One of the points Mary cites in her article is ” The Blackberry Test.” Here’s how she describes it.

Participants in all sizes of meetings are often so wrapped up in what’s going on outside the meeting that it’s hard to engage them, even with the best performers or the most polished speakers. And a meeting can’t possibly be strategic unless people are engaged. The bottom line is, if you can’t pass the “Blackberry Test,” you aren’t getting good ROM (Return on Meetings). What’s the Blackberry Test? If more than 5% of your audience are scrolling their Blackberries (or smartphones) during the meeting, you’ve failed.

The next time you’re tempted to say “Turn off your Blackberries and cellphones!” ask yourself: “Have we done all we can to make sure that this meeting is highly strategic, interactive, and directly relevant to participants?” Take the challenge to make the meetings at your organization more engaging and interactive. If you step up to the plate, you and the business leaders you serve will experience true ROM.

 Mary’s comments helped me change my perspective. The increasing number of distractions in our lives certainly do make it tougher to engage people. But is that such a bad thing? While these “distractions” compete with that increasingly scarce commodity…our attention, they also have the potential of making us more productive.

The days when a mediocre lecturer could captivate a 20th century audience for hours are gone. Today, those seeking to attract and hold the attention of their audiences must be more compelling than the distractions. So in a way, participant distractions can make us better…Facilitators, Trainers, Speakers, and Presenters…if we let them. How? Let’s take a stab at that.

APPLICATION

Do I still have your attention? You see, we can just tell it like it is anymore. We’ve got to tell it with FEELING! Try these ideas on to turn your thinking on the blackberry dilemma.

The problem isn’t them, it’s you. I know, I don’t like the sound of that either, but it’s largely true. If we’re not keeping our group’s attention, we’ve got to quit thinking that this is a problem with “them.” We’ve got to own it as ours. If we’re not commanding the attention and engagement of our group, we’ve got to do something differently.

The great quickening. Did you know that “quickening” is defined as the first time you feel your baby move–a long anticipated event in every pregnancy? I had no idea that’s what was coming when I wrote this tagline a moment ago. It just “felt” like the right word and I thought, “What the hell, go look it up on Google and see what comes out.”

So, you’ve got to feel “your baby” move when you’re leading your groups. While this may be a metaphorical “stretch,” it’s that kind of enthusiasm you’ve got to be feeling for your audience to, well, frankly, give a damn! If what you’re doing doesn’t summon your own energy, it won’t draw others in. Go back to drawing board or step it up a notch.

Get on with it! If there’s one thing people hate more than meetings, it’s s..l..o…w meetings. Don’t stretch your meeting to fit into the token hour or two allocated for it. Get it moving and keep it moving at a crisp pace. Keep people on target, and don’t waste time. Get it done so that people can get what they need and get back to business.

Name the elephant. If people are simply so distracted by other work that they can’t offer enough attention to keep the meeting afloat, either cancel it or shift the focus to “focus” issue. Find out what if anything people need to get themselves fully engaged in the room. There’s no better focus for a training or meeting than the very immediate impediments people are having to working in the present, right here, and right now with their peers.

ACTION

Has this article changed your mind about the blackberry problem? I’d love to hear from you. Just add your comments below.

As we advance in our field, it’s easy to give less regard to the basics. Yet no matter how complex our activities are, the basics always form the foundation upon which everything else rests. The highest buildings take advantage of the latest in engineering and materials sciences, yet they must rest on the deepest and and most stable foundations. The higher they rise, the deeper these foundations must go. Similarly, as we grow as facilitators, our success depends on a firm commitment to the foundations of our most complex skills.

I’ve often been struck when listening to celebrated experts in various fields. What usually seems to set them apart for me is their way of fully embracing and articulating the obvious. They are easy to understand. Their their language is simple and clear and resonates with a deep understanding of the foundations of their field.

In the past few facilitation workshops I’ve delivered, I’ve noticed a pattern amongst the facilitator participants, many of whom were intermediate and advanced practitioners. Some of the most basic skills were consistently overlooked. For example, many times small groups would move forward on an activity we assigned them without fully understanding what they were expected to do. Or, they would move forward in a given direction, not really happy with how it was going, but not checking in to consider changing their approach. Under the pressure to just get something done, anything done, even experienced facilitators sometimes forget the basics.

 Application

Getting rescued from the clouds. So what can we do about this amnesia of the basics? The following three tips are intended to help you stay grounded in the basics whether you are leading or participating in a group.

Be willing to ask “dumb” questions (these are often the most important). When working as a leader or member of a group, we’ve all experienced the feeling that we don’t understand what’s going on. Either we aren’t tracking with the discussion 100% of the time and missed something that was said, or everyone in the group isn’t on the same page. Actually, no one ever tracks with a group all of the time and seldom is a group in complete understanding of itself. Yet, when we feel we don’t understand, most of us have the impression that we’re the only ones feeling this way. We’ve been conditioned to keep our mouths shut and not to interrupt. Your willingness to voice your discomfort and confusion in the group will be a welcome gift most of the time.

Have the courage to yell “stop!” Even when employing the most wonderful group process, if it’s not working for a particular group at a particular time then a change is advised. Usually, just stopping the process to check in will make it clear what’s in the way or if a new process needs to be applied. Sometimes however, it’s hard to stop a group when everyone seems to be “going along” and in action. We seem to be addicted to action, no matter where it’s leading us. Often all it takes is one bold soul to ask the question, “How is this working for you?” to jar people into reality.

Always start at square one, with the basics of who, what, and how. No matter how advanced we are as facilitators and as a group, there are simple foundational questions that must be answered if we are to progress together. These are: “What are we doing?” (what’s our goal here today); “How are we going to do it?” (what process will we use?); and “Who will do what?” (who will facilitate, scribe, keep time, share expertise, etc.) If any of these questions ever become unclear, you will be wise to ask about them. And this is true whether you’re leading the group or not.

Most important thing to remember most of all is to never think that you are beyond the basics. As soon as you do, you’re liable to fall. What are your ideas on this subject? I’d love to hear them.

Action

How will you recommit to the basics this week? I’d love to hear from you. Share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic below.

My inquiry into the concept and practice of intuition among my peers led to many interesting responses. I’ve organized these questions and their responses below in a way I hope you’ll find useful.

What is intuition?

Intuition: 1. a. The act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes; immediate cognition. b. Knowledge gained by the use of this faculty; a perceptive insight. 2. A sense of something not evident or deducible; an impression.

It’s the part of me that speaks to possibility. It’s the part that pays attention to not just what is, but what might be? It’s the part of me that asks questions in the moment. Where is this activity, discussion, exercise heading right now? How are people responding? Does this feel like the right course to take, or should I choose another?

Intuition is a “gut feel,” a “sense,” a “knowing,” that may not be supported with logic.

It’s about trusting what I’ve learned and experienced, with a little bit of self control. The “self control” comes from asking the questions:

- Is this an area in which I know I’m weak and possibly mis-directed?
- Am I advancing the goals of the situation? (group, coaching client, etc.)
- Could I possibly be generating conflict or creating unwanted disturbance?

For me, these questions are so internalized that I can usually answer them within a second or two. It’s my “gut feel” about whether I’m doing the right thing.

I believe intuition is evidence of the connection between me and the Consciousness that created me. It’s communication on all levels; it’s what I hear when I listen with my heart. I don’t mean that in a sentimental or ‘soft’ way, but rather, expansively and courageously being willing to consider that I can’t think of everything or notice everything with just my brain (there’s a reason my brain is encased in a box!). Through intuition, I can be aware of ‘more’ of what’s available, coming through all of my senses, without the limiting filter of logic, judgment, or reasoned thinking. This is a very valuable tool available the facilitator.

How does one typically receive intuition?

Through active listening. By noticing the emotion and the energy in the room. By intensely paying attention on multiple levels to what is happening for the participants.

It seems to be a non-localized, very simple and sudden inspiration or insight; it’s like the feeling you get when you want to shift position to be more comfortable. You can feel the shift coming; it feels like a pulling or prompting, a subtle encouragement to move. The sensation lasts only for a moment, regardless of what I decide to do after my brain gets hold of it.

I receive intuition first of all via a feeling that either something doesn’t add up despite it looking OK on the surface or, something does add up (seems to be the right way to go) even though logic would say otherwise.

Intuition seems to show up for people in different ways. For some, it’s a physical feeling in the gut, for others a vague prickle on the skin somewhere, for others it may seem like a direct knowing.

Intuition has a lot to do with trust. If you don’t trust that your intuition is available to you whenever you need it, it’s as if you closed the door to that resource. Intuition is the trust that all you know, all you have experienced, all you have heard and seen is there for you. The process of intuition is the alchemy of this knowing and experience that makes it possible to do the right intervention at the right time. Intuition works best when you are in a state of “‘flow.”

Intuition sometimes comes to us when we’re in action, often coming to meet us when we express the courage to act boldly without exactly knowing what we’re going to do. In the action lies the answer.

Application

How can we best use intuition as facilitators?

I use it to course correct, to change activities on the fly (shorten them, lengthen them, dump them, make them up in the moment). I check in with my client at the next pause or break to find out if what I am feeling is a good read on the group. My intuition may not always be right or appropriate to act upon, so I get validation to help me make better decisions from it.

I’ve learned to pay attention to it, and to risk trusting it, even when I don’t understand it. I let my coaching clients and my students know that I do this and that I’m not attached to being right, but rather, to being receptive. Many times they make sense from it, even when it makes no sense to me. I’ve decided that sometimes the meaning of my intuition is really none of my business! What’s important is that I can use it as a resource to help me stay present and tuned into my clients and students so that I’m fully engaged in providing the coaching and facilitation that is called for, rather than limiting it to what I think they should get. Coaching and facilitation are much more fun, enjoyable, and effective when I’m coming from this place, rather than trying to force an outcome or operating from “up in my head.”

As a facilitator, intuition helps me assess the group processes, determine when to change its direction or my approach, guides me to helping the group move forward, leads me to ask the tough questions, gives me insight into what the group may need or how and where the group may be going. Ignoring me intuition usually results in inflexible processes and results

Intuition is linked to trust for me as a facilitator. I love people. I find them amazing and I love their varying energies and personalities. They all fascinate me. And, I think that I build rapport and trust so that I am open to subtle changes in energies, emotions, and moods that cannot be seen or described, just felt. As a facilitator, this means that I can send and receive messages on a nonverbal level–an understanding is built–and energies are recognized sooner than if I were waiting for direct verbal or even visual messages.

When I work with individuals or groups I prepare carefully everything that is needed, but then I let it go. When I start working I am focused on the other(s), what happens to them, between them, and in relation to myself. At the same time, I am self-aware, grounded and relaxed. The interventions I make based on my intuition sometimes surprise me. Afterwards I try to understand how I came to this intervention and how effective it was.

Sometimes the gut feel is misinformed. So part of using intuition is to carefully listen for feedback after I’ve taken action, to see if I’ve done something wrong. I often test my intuition by challenging my client with a questions such as, “I’m sensing that you’re avoiding talking about X.” Here are some important points about this approach:

- By saying “I’m sensing that…” I’m indicating that I might well be wrong.
- I’m also indicating that it’s only my observation, which may not be what the client’s experiencing. If I want to challenge the client further I might ask, “What would happen if other people observed that too?”
- I’m trying to be as nonjudgmental as possible.

The critical thing here is to deeply listen to what the client says next. She might be silent, or dismiss the observation, or argue with it, or avoid it entirely. But any one of those responses gives me immediate feedback about whether my intuition was correct, and what I can learn from it.

Here’s a Story to illustrate this point during a meeting I led a couple of years ago…

We had a diverse set of people who were focusing on brainstorming and organizing, and I had a process that had worked well before. One of the key influencers in the group said, “Gee, Carl, every time we do this you approach it the same way. I’m getting tired of it. How about if we did it differently?”

At that point I realized I’d fallen into a pattern of convenience, and had a quick decision to make about whether to redirect the process. I asked the group as a whole whether they would support doing this. Fortunately my “gut feel” to their responses helped me understand that there was little danger in redirecting and that I would gain the enthusiastic support of this key person if I supported her suggestion. So we changed the process right there, and things worked out great. My intuition was telling me that although the approach was different than I had planned, that I would create more total positive energy in the group by supporting the change. I quickly analyzed the change and decided that it would reach the same goals.

And, of course, I was tuned in during the rest of the meeting to sense whether we would go off-course, or people would feel disenfranchised by the new approach. But everything turned out great, there were no surprises.

How can one further develop intuition as a skill?

Don’t judge, don’t assume. Be open, listen, pause and check in, reflect, be more aware of your own responses, feelings, and inner sensations.

Be open, patient, and set aside your ego as best you can. The more you practice trusting, acting upon, and assessing the results of using your intuition, the more powerful this resource will become. But the key is trust and believing.

Incorporate internal practices such as meditation, affirmations, surrender, and loving and trusting yourself and your inner promptings.

Acting on your intuition often requires that you take a risk sharing something or doing something for whose purpose you don’t quite understand. This takes courage. You can get better at this by practicing releasing your need to be right, and/or give yourself permission to be wrong!

I often ask my clients to imagine that their intuition has shape, form and texture, and then describe it in detail; what does it sound like, where do they feel it in their body; what color is it; what is the texture, temperature and tone? I encourage them to keep track of their intuitive ‘hits’, to pay attention to when and where they show up. It isn’t about proving it right or wrong, but about developing the skill of subtle perception.

Become an intensely active listener, on all levels. Listen beyond the words. Listen to tone, notice body language patterns, degrees of engagement, listen to the buzz in the room. Pay attention to what is working for a group and what’s not. Risk going “off script” every once in awhile and notice what happens. When you notice a feeling in your gut, check it out with your group or with someone your trust. Eventually, you’ll learn what feelings to respond to, and which you can ignore.

Action

What can you do to fine tune your intuition? What action can you take this week to tap into your intuitive resources further? What question is really bugging you that you’d be willing to surrender to your intuitive guidance? Share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic in the box below. I’d love to hear from you!

“They can’t be getting any work done over there, they’re always laughing.”
“We don’t have time for play right now, we’ve got work to do!”
“They’re having just too much fun.”

Tell me, how can anyone have too much fun? And personally, I don’t see all that many people having much fun at all anymore, especially in the work environment. But of course not. Why should they? We all know that having fun just doesn’t mesh with getting work done. Now most of us see the fallacy in this statement, yet it is still firmly entrenched in the fabric of our culture. Is it not?

Most of us know that lightheartedness, playfulness, and laughter makes us feel more creative and enthusiastic. We also know that creativity and enthusiasm are qualities highly treasured in progressive workplaces. Perhaps progressive is the key word here. So let’s be progressive. Let’s look at how humor and play are good for our success in work groups.

 Application

 Using Humor With Groups. The following tips on the use of humor in groups were adapted from a book by the 3M Meeting Management Team, Mastering Meetings: Discovering the Hidden Potential of Effective Business Meetings.

When all else fails, lighten up. Injecting a little humor may be all that’s needed to lift a group out of a rut when they get stuck, help put them at ease in times of stress, make bad news easier to accept, or to introduce a sensitive subject. Here’s an example:

Shortly after the breakup of AT&T, the company fielded questions about the consequences of reorganization. A frequent hostile question from the audiences was, “Why are long-distance rates going up?” One speaker gave this reply: “It’s sort of a good news-bad news situation. It’s true that long-distance rates are going up–that’s the bad news. The good news is, the continents are drifting closer together.”

Get them laughing to speed up their process. Humor is avoided in your typical business meetings because many managers believe that it simply wastes time. Humor consultant, Malcolm Kushner suggests the opposite. “The real objective of meetings is to exchange information or solve a problem. If humor contributes to a free flow of information, then it can actually speed things up.”

Humor is a rich source of productivity. Studies have shown that people with a sense of humor “tend to be more creative, less rigid, and more willing to consider and embrace new ideas,” says Kushner. Think about it. Humor occurs naturally during brainstorming sessions. Brainstorming and problem-solving “require a fresh perspective, looking at things from an offbeat angle. So does humor.”

You don’t have to leave them in stitches. According to Michael Iapoce, another humor consultant, you don’t have to be a comedian to use humor in meetings and groups. “Only professional comics need to get big laughs. If you can get people in a meeting to chuckle, they’re grateful. And if your joke or one-liner doesn’t get a laugh, just ignore it.”

Make it relevant. Your humor should be relevant to the situation at hand. Telling a joke or funny story just to get a laugh isn’t usually in the best interest of the group. Here’s an example: When David Kearns, then Chairman and CEO of Xerox Corporation, spoke at a management conference at the University of Chicago in 1986, he began this way:

There’s a story about a Frenchman, a Japanese, and an American who face a firing squad. Each gets one last request. The Frenchman asks to hear The Marseillaise. The Japanese asks to give a lecture on the art of management. The American says, “Shoot me first–I can’t stand one more lecture on Japanese management.”

Kearns went on to say he was not going to speak about Japanese management, but about what Japan might learn from America.

Keep it tasteful. Of course you must refrain from any humor that might in the slightest way be offensive to your particular audience. “Sometimes people are not sure whether a joke is appropriate for a certain group, but they tell it anyway,” says Krushner. “That’s like saying, ‘I’m not sure if this gun is loaded, but I’ll fire it anyway,” Rule of thumb: When in doubt, leave it out.

Know your audience. Different groups may respond to various types of humor in radically different ways. It’s important that you know enough about your groups so that you can be sensitive to how they may respond to the content of your humor. One 3M manager recalls the following disaster:

I spent a great deal of my career in Minnesota and surrounding areas, and people would pick up the Texas inflection in my voice. When I was doing a speech to any large group I could make a joke about Texans or Texas accents as a little opener to warm up, give them a feel for my personality, and a little bit of my background. And it always went really well. I made a speech in Dallas once to about 600 people with the same opening, and I died. I could not recover….That was one of those things you have to learn the hard way.

Wear your personality inside out. In closing, I wanted to share that in my own humble experience, I’ve often inspired the greatest laughter when I least expected it. On these occasions, I believe the secret was that I was just being myself and sharing what I was thinking or feeling in the moment. Authenticity not only brings freshness and lightness to your groups, it can also bring a great deal of humor as well.

Action

Pick a humor tip or two to try out with your groups or in your meetings this week. Let us know how it turns out. And, if you have any stories related to the use of humor in facilitation or in your work that might interest our readers, please post them as well. We’d love to hear from you!  Just share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic below.

To be quite honest, the more I learn about group process the easier and the harder it gets. Harder because every group that comes along surprises me in some way. Perhaps with increasing humility inspired by my increasing years, I tend to look and listen just a little closer to the nuances present in each new group. And though human dynamics in each group have many similarities, they are also unique in their makeup and their challenges. As I come to recognize that being surprised is part of the game, I come to welcome the mystery more as an adventure to enjoy than an unknown to fear. And trust that going on the voyage equipped with my essentials, I cannot fail and commit myself to the prospect that we will all gain through the experience in some way.

Identify Your Core Gifts

What is your gift as a human being? How do you significantly advance the work of any group you lead or participate in, simply by showing up authentically and doing what comes naturally to you? I believe that it might be a great exercise to answer this question in the form of a handful of facilitative perspectives, attitudes, or actions, to strengthen everything else you do as a group servant, and provide great value even if you show up with nothing else. Here are some of my own as I see them:

I show up as the clearest mirror I can be. One of the greatest insights people can gain from each other is a view of themselves from the outside. We sometimes go through our lives so much on automatic pilot we lose the connection between cause and effect. That is, those things we do that we might not notice (causes) that are bringing results that we might not like (effects). It’s a rare privilege granted to you as facilitators and group leaders to point out and reflect the actions of others and how we experience them. Remember that polished mirrors reflect best. So practice releasing inner chatter as best you can, and marshall the courage to express what you see and sense, if it will explicitly advance your group’s purpose, as clearly and as compassionately as you can.

I come with beginner’s mind. I believe that there’s great power in approaching every new group as if it’s the first one I’ve ever worked with. To approach each life experience with “beginner’s mind” is a tall order, particularly so as our experience base grows. Yet the fresh openness to mystery and possibility offers those we serve a potent invitation to see the world in this same way themselves. Unencumbered with past failures and worn out solutions, chances are better that a fresh new idea or solution will emerge.

It’s never about me, even when it is. It’s essential to take nothing personally as a group leader, even when under personal attack. People only attack when they’re hurting or scared. Remembering this will afford you perspective you can use when walking through the hot spots of group process. Quiet presence, again like a mirror, in the face of attack is disarming, even alarming, in a world out of control. Cultivating the ability to reflect peace in the face of fear has a transforming effect on others.

I surrender the task to them. It’s imperative to trust in the resources of the group and in the process in which you have them engaged to accomplish the tasks before them. If you are afraid that they cannot accomplish their goal and apply your genius to save them, they will smell your fear and be weakened by your efforts to help. Your trust, if well placed, and backed with conviction will inspire.

I’m a compass who facilitates the course. If you do nothing but help a group come to a clear understanding of their goal, the average group will have gained a great deal. If you then serve as their beacon, amidst confusion and haste, helping them compare each action to the results they seek, forward progress is inevitable.

Action

Drawing on the above examples, make a list of the key gifts you bring to your groups that are effortless for you to give, Please share them with us. We’d love to hear from you! Add your comments below to share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic.

We hear so much about what it takes to compete, but what does it take to collaborate? And while there’s a growing need for true collaboration in our society, locally and globally, just what does it mean to collaborate?

Collaboration involves two or more people coming together to share their collective knowledge, experience, and creativity to arrive at a shared understanding or tangible outcome that none of the individuals could have arrived at on their own. Collaboration is more complex than teamwork, which tends to operate in a sequential fashion to accomplish tasks or to join together to defend against outside forces.

I like what Michael Schrage of MIT has to say about collaboration “…[collaboration is about] the creation of value; a process that our traditional structures of communication and teamwork can’t achieve.”

Today, I’d like to take an unusual approach to exploring collaboration. I’d like to look at what stands in its way. If we were to teach a fish to walk on land, it might first be useful to show it the water that it depends upon. Because this water has surrounded the fish all of its life, it is probably unaware of it. Just as the fish may be clueless about the water in which it swims, there are streams of behavior and belief through which we unwittingly travel that stand in the way of us effectively collaborating. What are they? I share my take on them below. In the spirit of true collaboration, share yours as well and we’ll build on this list. 

Habits and attitudes that impede collaboration.

Failure to recognize the complexity of group thought. When we think that communicating and producing outcomes en masse should be just as easy as doing so individually, we tend to negatively judge the slower pace and additional processes required for collaborative activity. These judgments of ourselves, or others cloud and impede our work together. The first step toward effective collaboration requires us to be patient with the process, expecting that while working with a group will be slower and more difficult than working on our own, our outcomes will be worth the investment.

Commingling of task and process. Groupwork is often confused when we avoid separating discussions of task (the group goal), and process (how the group will complete its goal). Discussing process is confusing if done before the task is clear. Yet in this high-speed world, we’re all called upon to do less with more and charge off to “get it done” quickly. When groups don’t get clear about what “it” is, they aren’t focused on the same objective, and they can’t collaborate. Get a clear consensus on task before pursuing it to get your collaborations off to the right start.

Multifocusing. As individuals, we can attend to only one item at a time. Groups can multifocus and this capacity can make it very difficult for all individuals to track what’s going on. This is why effective collaboration requires that all relevant inputs are heard by everyone and recorded for all to see.

Serial communication. Accustomed to simple one-on-one conversations, in groups we tend to listen to others share stories, information or opinions, until a space opens up for us to do the same. What we share doesn’t always connect to what others have said. And seldom do we check to make sure we really understood what was said. This self-centered style of delivering messages does not contribute to a shared understanding, the hallmark of collaboration.

Computer networks that engage in serial communication do something called “handshaking.” After receiving a message, the receiving terminal replies to the transmitting terminal to let it know the message was received and checks the accuracy of what was received. We’d do well to emulate this process in our human “networking” activities more often.

The loudest and fastest get the floor. The most outspoken and quickest thinkers often dominate group discussion. While their inputs may be valuable, they don’t represent all of what the group has to say and often not the best of what the group has to offer. Once again, to effectively collaborate, we must see to it that multiple methods are in place to invite and capture all relevant inputs.

People need to be heard. Many of us felt ignored as children and have a need as adults to make our voices heard in groups. Individuals speaking only to meet their own needs will tax the patience and emotional energy of a group. Challenge participants to speak when moved to speak. Also ask them to perform a self-check before speaking by asking themselves whether what they have to say is relevant, positive, and necessary to the group’s objectives.

Addicted to consistency. People dislike inconsistency and will attempt to eliminate it. When mental conflict occurs because beliefs or assumptions are contradicted by new information, people will tend to suppress, rationalize, avoid, or oversimplify it away. Help people to hang in there when mentally challenged by new ways of seeing things. Remind them that in order to arrive at a solution that fits with reality, they must be willing to face the full complexity of the situation. Facing complexity can be challenging and facing it as a group, they don’t have to do it alone.

Distractions and Disassociation. Every group encounters distractions from the late arrivals and early departures, to uncomfortable surroundings, to telephone interruptions, poor technical facilities, etc. The coupling of distractions with the difficulty of group thinking causes individuals to disassociate from the task at times to take a mental break. All participants tend to wander from time to time resulting in a short circuit of the group mind. Presume you are losing some members all of the time and regularly summarize and document the status of the discussion.

I’m sure there are more barriers to collaboration in the attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs that we consider “normal” in our society. Keep your eyes, ears, and hearts open as you traverse the collaborative landscape, looking for ways to point out and heal these barriers in your group work.

Action

 What do you see as norms or habits of human behavior that stand in the way of collaboration? Send in your ideas. I’ll integrate them into this article and repost it for you to refer to online. We’d love to hear from you! Just add your comments below to share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic.

As facilitators, at one time or another, we will run into a situation where our groups get stuck dead in their tracks. By getting stuck, I mean that the group’s progress seems to have slowed down or stopped, energy is low, participation is spotty, and you get a hunch that the current course you are on is not going to get the group moving again.

Groups get stuck for a variety of reasons. Being stuck may be a symptom of conscious or unconscious resistance to moving forward by one or more group members, fear of potential consequences resulting from what might be uncovered by moving in the current direction, unspoken judgments or irritation among participants, or simple mental or emotional exhaustion of group members.

When you feel your group is stuck, it may be appropriate to shake things up by changing the process. Changes to the process can range from the simple act of taking a physical break to initiating a “clearing session” to move whatever energy is impeding forward progress. I drew on an excellent little book called The Art of Facilitation for some of the clearing processes I summarized below.

Application

Content Clearing. Sometimes in the midst of complex problem solving, we simply need to stop, take a breath, and retrace our steps. Take a minute to review the original objective, then review the progress you’ve made so far. This can be enough to ignite new energy and the perspective needed to trigger ideas and get things moving again.

Group Clearing. If it appears the whole group could benefit from a clearing, offer to do a group clearing session. First have someone express the purpose or vision of the group, then invite each participant to express what is getting in their way to full engagement in the group process. You could have them complete a stem sentence like, “What is getting in the way for me is…”

One-on-One Clearing. Use this process if it appears that only a few participants require completion. With this process, ask members to take a 15 minute break and invite anyone that has an unspoken issue with any other member, to express it in the following manner. Approach the person and express your positive commitment to the relationship, then describe the feeling or behavior you experience with them together with a specific incident if possible. Take turns speaking until all upset is cleared. Make any requests or promises along the way as desired. Ask for help from facilitators if needed.

Personal Clearing . Invite participants to share anything that will help them get more fully present and engaged with the group. This might be personal stuff they’re hanging on to that if expressed will let them more fully engage. Give each member a time limit of 2-5 minutes.

Clearing Yourself. If you feel a need to clear yourself as the facilitator, do the following. During a break, find an uninvolved participant and have them ask you the following question, “What do you need to say or do to get clear?” Ask this question of yourself if it’s inappropriate to use a group member.

Action

This week, practice one of the above clearing exercises with your group, or practice “Clearing Yourself” as needed throughout the week when you’re feeling stuck or stressed. Do you have any additional processes you use? We’d love to hear from you! Just Add Your Comments below to share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic.

Let me tell you what I’ve discovered to be the number one action I can take in my writing and in my training that generates the most response, like clockwork. Are you ready? Here it is: make mistakes. Yes, other people’s mistakes get us engaged. Something as simple as a spelling or grammatical error generates a flood of emails to point out my faux pas. Why is this so?

It seems to me that we’re all trained to seek out and correct mistakes. Look at the way we were educated. Most of us spent nearly the first twenty years of our lives identifying and solving problems. Math classes were all about solving problems. English classes were all about critiquing other’s work and correcting mistakes in your own. Every other class was about memorizing information and feeding it back while teachers pointed out our errors. Our news media is all about identifying what’s wrong in the world. In fact, I’d venture to guess that nearly 99% of the “news” is about crisis, problems, and mistakes. In business, we’re paid for solving problems and penalized for making mistakes. So is it any wonder why we’re hyper vigilant about avoiding mistakes and hyper focused on seeking them out and correcting them?

Let’s explore how we can use sensitivity to mistakes to our advantage. The following are some tips on how we can use mistakes as opportunities for learning and engagement in groups.

 Application

Embrace problems as learning opportunities. To best illustrate this point, I’m going to share a personal story.

It was the mid-90′s and I was co-facilitating the first weekend workshop in a workplace development program at our local community college. We had a stiff ground rule during our first all-day session that basically said if you weren’t present at the agreed upon start time, then you were out of the class and the succeeding 16-month program. A student showed up about 30 minutes late for our morning session. He was adamant about attending and seemed to have had an emergency which made him late.

As facilitators we were struggling with what to do, thinking that maybe we were being too strict with our rules, yet wanting to be fair to the rest of the class who showed up on time. It finally occurred to us that, hey, this is a class about life mastery, about leadership, teamwork, and decision-making. We realized that this was a real problem facing us as leaders, so decided to bring it to the class to solve. We facilitated a class discussion and solution of the problem. It turned into a fantastic real life learning experience. It brought the class closer together. It gave them real world practice in collaborative decision-making. The solution they came up with was their solution. It brought the tardy student a great deal of learning and clarity about what the class was about…a heavy duty makeup session if you will…as the center of attention around this dilemma, and to pleading his case to the class cemented his commitment to them and to the program.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. I now preface all of my training programs with the declaration that I will do my best to model good facilitation skills but that I will also make mistakes. I encourage my participants to point out my mistakes and call me on any that they see. I’ve learned from experience that each time I made a mistake in my trainings and owned up to it, it usually created a great deal of learning for the students. Again, people love to jump in to correct someone else’s error and most people love to help people who are sincerely open to receiving it.

Mistakes aren’t always about you. Sometimes what looks like a mistake is actually life having another agenda. Look for clues in mistakes. They may be creating the time, space, or opening for someone to share something, for something more appropriate to happen that will support where the group needs to go.

Use “mistakes” as a teaching method. Earlier this year I had a technical “mistake” that occurred that actually served to bring my group closer together in a way I certainly hadn’t planned. Since my stated objective for the session was to build a learning community, I went with what was happening and used the “problem” as an opportunity.

The confluence of problems that showed during this event showed participants how they can be handled in the real world. Many students commented that being party to this problem as it unfolded and my willingness to share my reactions and decision-making process in realtime helped them see that an event like this is survivable. So this glitch had great instructional value, independent of my curriculum design! You can read the full story here.

Mistakes are a normal occurrence. When they show up unexpectedly, which of course by definition they always do, they can present some of the richest learning or barrier removing opportunities available. In unplanned situations, people tend to be more real and react in way that they normally react in the world. These behaviors can give you clues as a facilitator to patterns that might be the true source of some of the problems you’ve been called in to solve! So watch how your participants respond to mistakes. Both yours and theirs.

Action

How do you typically view mistakes? Is there a shift around mistakes that you’d like to experiment with this week.  Add your comments below t0 share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic.

In this week’s issue entitled, The Art of Not Doing, we explore the radical idea of not doing to support the emergence of solutions to our problems both individually and in our groups.

Our personal and business lives are defined by going after what we want, and fighting or running from what we don’t want. We’re advised about what food we should eat, what drugs or supplements we should take, and what we should think and believe. For any question or problem you have, people will line up to tell you what you should do about it.

I remember working for the government in a fast-paced flight test environment many years ago. It seemed that crisis was the rule of the day. People frantically scurried about responding to the never ending supply of problems. I began to observe that if I quickly responded to a supposed crisis or to a request for action, I often had to undo this action the very next day. I soon learned that not immediately responding was usually the best approach. More than half the time, the action that was an urgent necessity yesterday was today withdrawn or changed to a new option today. Ironically, I found that by slowing down my doing, I had a whole lot more time to get more done and a lot less stress doing it!

So I wonder. What if the source of many of our problems, both personal and professional are simply the product of a matrix of erroneous observations, thoughts, and assumptions? The biggest problem being, our belief that they are true. What happens if we continue to dip into the source of our problems in search of their solutions?

So how does this apply practically to group leadership? I have no idea. Why don’t we wait until tomorrow and see what answers we wake up with. I’m only partially kidding. Since you’ll probably not want another email on this subject tomorrow, some things do need to be done today. Let’s see what wants to write itself below.

APPLICATION

When confronted with problems and challenges begging for solution and action, perhaps on occasion a perspective of negation may yield some fresh insights. Here are some questions to apply to the situation that may help you to take a fresh perspective.

- What happens if you do nothing? It’s rare than a problem requires an immediate response or solution. Sometimes no response, or a response later in time is better. This is so if the problem goes away on its own, changes into a more or less complex problem, or if more information becomes available over time that will contribute to a better solution.

- What can you stop doing that might help the situation? Perhaps the problem that exists is the result of someone, somewhere doing something that might best not be done. If your problem is being overweight, not eating so much is a very inexpensive part of the solution.

- Is the problem you’re fixing really the problem? It’s not uncommon for us to assume that our definition of the problem is accurate. The problem defined may in fact be a symptom of a deeper problem. The current health care debate in the U.S. comes to mind as a great example. Here we are trying to provide everyone with health care by a system that does a better job at keeping people sick that it does of healing them. Please, my health can afford that kind of help!

- Are the current “doers” the best ones to be doing it? Perhaps there are people doing things that should stop doing them, allowing them to be done by others. For example, I’d be better off devoting time I spend on administrative functions to creative and marketing functions.

- How can you stop being so serious? The greatest discoveries and solutions throughout history have nearly always come not when the discoverer was busy doing, but when he or she was in an open, relaxed space. This doesn’t mean that preparatory work isn’t necessary, but it does mean that there comes a time when we need to relax, take a break, get a massage, and let the best solution emerge. Not from our thinking but from the source of our thoughts.

A mind continuing to seek for solutions in the same morass that created it is a futile pursuit. The truth that’s dawning on me is, what we don’t do, don’t think, don’t eat, and don’t believe may be the missing (literally) link to our well-being!

ACTION

Are you over-doing it? If so, where? What are you willing to not do? I’m interested in hearing your perspectives on this and how this information might help you facilitate groups as either a leader or as a participant. Just click Add Your Comments below to share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic.

From what I hear out there, most people are VERY busy. I used to be too so I know what that’s like. I remember that sometimes I felt good, or even important when being busy. But on the other hand, part of me would yearn for more free time and space. The Judeo-Christian culture has defined busyness to be next to Godliness. In my experience, busyness can be used to avoid ourselves and our lives and actually cut us off from Source.

This is subject is becoming even more pressing of late. We get so busy doing things that we often miss the source of the problems we’re busy solving. Further, our busyness can get us so disconnected from our natural guidance system, that we need motivation programs and gurus of every ilk to tell us what to do.

This week’s article, Getting to the Bottom of Yourself speaks to an experience I had one day last year where my body just made me STOP. And in that space, some insights came that could be useful for us as individuals as well as group leaders. I hope you enjoy it and as always, I look forward to your comments!

The Point

This morning I got up with virtually no motivation to write this article. I’ve been working for about three weeks straight in front of this computer. When not writing or emailing, I’m reading about the latest solutions and strategies designed to answer all of life’s problems. The last thing I felt like doing was to add just one more piece of advice to the growing pile.

Often, a long walk will help me recover a fresh perspective, but that did little good this morning. After the walk, I was compelled to sit down and meditate. Over the next half hour, motivation returned along with some insights I thought worthy of sharing.

We humans are designed to take in only so much before the necessity to empty ourselves. Yet we are embedded in a multi-media jungle where we’re bombarded with information and mental distractions 24/7. Everyone is vying for our attention, offering an infinite supply of messages telling us what to do, to get what we want, so that we can be all we can be. And many of these messages offer to teach us how to be even more cunning in attracting attention in this increasingly dense info jungle.

While many of these sources offer perfectly good advice, none of them are walking in my shoes. None of them know what’s right for me right now. While sitting this morning, it took some time to peel off multiple layers of unnecessary ideas, perspectives, and beliefs, to reach my quiet center. When that happened, I felt the burden lift and rose off the coach to write this article.

Application

Today I’m not going to tell you what you should do. Instead, I offer only a few perspectives to point the way to undoing.

Excavate for Clarity. If we are truly leading groups to help them find what works for them, there is precious little we need to be adding to their equation. We may be serving them better by helping them unload and unlearn and then see what’s left. I suppose this is why venting or check in’s can be so helpful for groups. What does your group need to dump?

Examine Your Operating System. The planet has be operating on autopilot for thousands of years. Old beliefs passed down from one generation are readily adopted and enacted by the next. So few of us examine who’s lives we’re really living. When was the last time you examined the most basic assumptions about who you are and what you’re doing? You know the ones. The assumptions so basic you consider to be facts, and don’t see a reason to question. What if at your next meeting, you asked people to spend a few minutes questioning the obvious as a welcome activity?

Missing Motivation is Information. There are numerous techniques designed to motivate others. But when we’re not motivated, perhaps what we’re unmotivated to do is best not done, at least for now. Or, maybe there’s a message inside that needs to be heard. Often the best way to hear that message is to stop doing, be quiet, and listen. Healthy motivation is not forced. It arises from within. What quiet little voice is waiting to be heard in your group?

Seek Questions as Often as Answers. Compelling questions can open and orient us. In fact, the purpose of an organization’s Vision statement is to do just that. A compelling vision shows the direction to walk toward an impossible dream. A dream so big that it can never be achieved. A space so large that while it offers direction, it can never quite be filled. It serves as a vacuum of sorts into which healthy motivation can flow. What question would serve your group to live?

Application

Do you need to do some emptying? If so, give yourself some time to unload and offload the burden of what you think you know. Let me know what happens. Just Add Your Comments below to share your questions, feedback, or experience on this topic.